We're going on a bike trip to Europe this spring. We've been debating what to do about bikes. We had sort of decided to take singles, since the prospect of taking the tandem was rather daunting. But we really wanted to do the trip on a tandem, and Susan by now has all but forgotten how to ride a single ("You mean I have to brake and shift?").
Now I've taken my single numerous times, without much prior planning. I'd just arrive at the airport, wheel it in, say, "Take this," they'd say "no" and a dialog would ensue. By being suitably obnoxious and climbing the chain of command, I would get to the Bottom Line -- we'll take your bike if you sign away all rights to get upset if we drop kick it from here to your final destination. But this was our major vacation, and I didn't want to take any chances.
So I screwed my courage to the sticking place, and decided to call Delta Airlines. I knew I was in for trouble when I had to explain the concept of tandem. No, it's not motorized, but it's not your garden variety bicycle either. So I was consigned to the limbo of being put on hold while the representative consulted the baggage Oracle. I used the the time wisely to browse the Delta web site, to see if perchance they had any pertinent information. Lo and behold, they did, so I gleaned the following:
Delta Air Lines will accept non-motorized touring or racing bicycles with single seats for carriage as checked baggage under certain limitations. ...
and other stuff to whit that size does indeed matter. (BTW, you can ship antlers for only $50 if they're free of residue (ick)). So I was armed for the confrontation when the agent finally returned. After a brief discussion, she decided it was time to bring in the big guns, Customer Service, and I was again put into a state of suspended animation. I had opportunity to ponder the ramifications of the "with single seats" phrase. What if I took one off? "Do you have any baggage to check?" "Yes, this rather large single seated bicycle, and, yes, this seat." (I know it's a saddle, but we don't have to let them know). Despite the considerable pleasure of running rings round them logically, I felt that in the end they would probably still not let me take the bike, so decided to abandon that tack.
After what seemed like an eternity, the agent returned with a "Sorry to keep you waiting" and then promptly hung up on me. I'm sure she did not hang up on me, we were "disconnected," but still there was the sneaking suspicion that in fact she was finding this conversation extremely tedious and decided she'd rather spend her time dealing with dope smugglers and terrorists.
So I got to start the process all over again. Threading the maze of menu options, I got to talk to another human being (alas, not my buddy of the last half hour). I decided to cut to the chase and asked for customer service immediately (in phone time, which was actually about fifteen minutes). After considerable discussion with customer service, it came out that the number of seats was in fact irrelevant, but the longest dimension could not exceed 69". I didn't know offhand how long the tandem was but I had a sneaking suspicion that it exceeded this dimension. My other option was air cargo, and she happily gave me the number of the air cargo person (and breathed a huge sigh of relief, I'm sure). The air cargo person was quite cheerful and informed me that they would be happy to ship my tandem for not much less than it would cost to charter a plane. Maybe it's time for the hack saw and the S&S couplers.
Please send corrections, additions, comments and praise to