Little Jack's Corner by Jack Donohue

There's a good reason why cycling shorts used to be black. The reason is, that anything associated with a bicycle either starts out black or ends up black. Those of you that know your history (or, like me, are history) may point out that in the old days of leather bike seats smeared with neatsfoot oil, the black shorts were de rigeur. Basic black is still a good idea today.

Case in point, the other day I was running around in my u-trou (don't ask why), and decided I needed to mess with my lighting system. So I threw on some shorts, since it seemed unseemly to be working on my bike in my u-trou (just old-fashioned, I guess). Now, when I embark on a session in the garage, I usually don one of a collection of grease laden clothes. I have my complete outfit, shirt and pants, from my auto mechanic days. Sometimes if I'm feeling frisky I wear my road find shirt, blue shirt from a Chevrolet dealer that says "Bob" (Doesn't realy say "Bob" -- that was for you Cosby fans). This outfit is suitable for an all day adventure in the garage. For shorter sessions, I have my lab coat and coveralls. Then there's the Channel 2 auction apron, that as least keeps grease off my pants. When I go in to do something particularly nasty, like working on the chain, I always gird my loins with one of these outfits. Since I was only doing a short stint working on lights, which have relatively little grease associated with them, I didn't bother. With reckless abandon, I just sauntered into the garage in my khaki shorts.

My garage is beginning to look like a scene from the Addams family. In addition to the fact that you can't find an empty area three inches square on my workbench, which is covered with nasty, greasy things, our resident spider has taken to spinning cobwebs from the window to some of the taller objects on the bench. I'll occasionally hack away at them, but next week they're back in force. I also suspect the cat has found a litter box alternative somewhere in the garage. So I reaized I had to be careful. Of course the job turned out to be more complicated that I had first anticipated, due to the corrosion and dirt on all parts, but I didn't consciously wallow in grease. Still, after the ordeal, my formerly pristine khaki shorts were now sporting a pattern of grease stains across the front.

The tandem is a grease magnet. It has chains on both sides so you have the opportunity of getting grease tattoos on both legs. Also, invariably in hoisting the tandem in and out of the car, grease is also deposited on my upper body clothing.

One golden rule I learned while touring is never carry white (underwear included). Despite what your mother told you, if you're in an accident, it's much better to show up at the hospital in paisley underwear than greasy white underwear. I'd go so far as to say never carry anything light colored. I don't know what clothes do when they're alone in the pannier, but no matter how many bags you put them in, any light colored clothing will find a way to snuggle up to the nasty greasy bits.

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