My first impression of CRW rides was that most of the people who showed up looked very official. Here I was helmetless with my boat shoes and cut-offs amidst a crowd that could rival the starting lineup of the Tour de France. These were Serious Cyclists. The term Serious Cyclist has always had a aura of mysticism for me. It served to separate the great unwashed masses who ride Huffies in flip-flops from the cycling elite. I felt I had at least to master the mysteries of half-step gearing and be able to walk around in cleats without falling over to consider myself in this category.
In days of old (when the wooly mammoth ruled the earth -- before the lycra mammoth) you could always tell the Serious Cyclist. The SC was distinguishable by wearing a helmet and funny shoes that clicked. Nowadays things are more obscure. I've seen all sorts of bizarre combinations like people riding Kestrels with high top sneakers, mountain bikes with tri-spoke wheels and aero bars. Are these Serious Cyclists?. How does one tell the Serious Cyclist from the pretenders? In order to clear up the confusion, I've started a checklist for the Serious Cyclist. Scoring high on this list will provide de facto membership for the candidate in the Serious Cyclist Club.
Serious Cyclist CheckList
Thinks Power Bars are food
Thinks dressing for dinner is putting on a clean jersey
Luggage consists of three jersey pockets
Can tell how many days since his jersey's been washed by counting sweat rings
Thinks chamois is not something used to wash your car
Goes to Club Med and complain about the sand getting in the drivetrain
Goes to Aspen and complain about the snow getting in the drivetrain
Would never consider riding a bike with steel wheels
Feels disoriented when not clipped in
Fights for custody of the tandem in a divorce settlement
Has a bike for all seasons
Has a bike for all reasons
Has a bike for no good reason
Has crashed during a sprint finish while riding rollers
Has done more sewing on tires than clothing
Has bikes worth more than his car
Thinks of his car as a support vehicle
Someone whose leather collection resides in saddles and shorts
Doesn't have an "I'd rather be biking" bumper sticker because he usually is
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