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When cyclists emerge from primordial slime and decide that footwear for the bike more advanced than flip flops or sneakers are required, they have to learn how to walk all over again. Clipless pedals are a wonderful invention and the shoes that clip into them an engineering marvel, but when it gets time to get off your bike and navigate in the real world with these appendages on your feet, this is quite another story. Now, I’m not talking these hermaphrodite shoes that have actual soles and were actually designed for walking as well as biking (quelle horreur). We’re talking the real thing, the cycling shoes with clipless cleats that were designed for one thing and one thing only, propelling your bicycle pedals with the maximum efficiency. So, they are by design woefully inadequate for doing anything else (I know you’re thinking, “who would want to do anything else?”). The sad fact is, there are times when even the most devoted gearhead has to get off his or her bike. Two situations come to mind right away, ingesting food and drink and getting rid of waste products of said ingestion. So the cyclist is thrust into the scary world of walking with cleats.
Walking with cleats in my book is a lot like cross country skiing. They put slippery things on your feet, thrust you onto a slippery surface and expect you to stay upright. The cleated world sans bike is fraught with danger. Wooden floors are particularly dangerous, especially if they’ve been recently waxed. When negotiating one of these, you learn to tread lightly and never stray too far from walls or other firmly anchored objects that could be clung to in an emergency, Linoleum is another danger zone. That combined with the odd patch of wetness is a sure recipe for disaster. You learn that hand rails are your friend and gravitate toward them whenever possible.
Portajohns as seen at CRW centuries (and construction sites) are another source of danger. The slippery plastic floor, usually situated on a not quite level playing field is especially worrisome, especially when your hands, normally at the ready to grasp at any fixed object on the way down, are otherwise occupied.
Then of course there’s the Clipless Moment, enjoyed by every new wearer, where you find yourself clipped in and leaning the wrong way resulting in an embarrassing FDGB. Despite providing endless amusement for your cycling buddies, it’s a maneuver I’d try to avoid.
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