One of the great annoyances of my cycling experience is my helmet. Now, I’m not a free spirit who wants to ride unencumbered with the “wind in my hair.” Once I started wearing a helmet, it got to be second nature, and I don’t mind the fact I’ve got it on my head. In fact, being a dinosaur, I come from the time when helmets weighed about fifteen pounds and developed enough internal heat due to lack of ventilation to fry eggs. So these ultra light helmets of today are a pleasure to wear. The problem is I can’t get the darn thing to fit.
A little history here. One of my first helmets was the classic bell biker. These were the white ones with red striping that were basically round, with no frills and not a whole lot of ventilation. But that was state of the art in those days, and just about everyone who wore a helmet wore one of those. I wore that sucker for many years, wore out all the pads, and towards the end, the thing was held in place with bits of foam and baling wire. As luck would have it, I had won a nice Giro foam helmet at the CRW banquet a few years back, and it was ready to take the Biker’s place when the time came, which was around the turn of the decade (1990). This was my weekend helmet for many years, it was light, reasonably well ventilated, and best of all, it stayed on my head.
Fast forward to the year 2000. Several events conspired to make me forsake my fine Giro helmet for a newer model. Shortly after the foam helmet hit the market, and everyone bought one, it was discovered that they were in fact a death trap and one should really buy a helmet with a hard shell around the foam so that when you go down your head can slide on down the road like a bowling ball.
Another factor is that I’m prone to skin disorders from too much exposure to the sun (my former doctor jocularly refers to my annual visits to my dermatologist as my weight loss program). So I was thinking getting a helmet with a visor would not be a bad idea.
The telling blow was when Susan and I went to buy me a new bike. We picked the bike out, and the question came up, “Do you need a helmet?” to which I of course replied “No, I have a helmet.” It of course came out that my helmet was many years old (but not as old as me) and conventional wisdom has it that helmets need to be replaced every few years. So, I caved, and came out of the store with a brand new Giro hard-shell helmet con visor.
I thought this was going to be the answer to a maiden’s prayer, this fine new helmet, with all its Straps, buckles, and assorted gizmos, but, alas, it was not to be. The helmet had this plastic mesh thing at the back that was supposed to mold itself to the back of your head. I found that every time I raised my head to look up, the plastic bit would bump into the back of my neck thereby pushing the front of the helmet down. Since the helmet was equipped with a visor to further obscure my vision, the net result was that I couldn’t see anything. I had also acquired a rather flimsy helmet mirror that would move out of position if you so much as looked at it funny. On one particularly bumpy ride, the helmet kept riding down, the mirror went off into Kansas, I couldn’t see forward, couldn’t see back, I might as well be wearing a paper bag on my head.
So I’m back with the old foam Giro and sun block. I know I really should give the new helmet another try, it should be theoretically possible to make it work right. And I did in fact pay real money for it. But I don’t have the time or the energy right now to deal with it. Good winter project.
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